ZINES I NEVER GOT AROUND TO REVIEWING #2

ZINES I NEVER GOT AROUND TO REVIEWING LAST YEAR… BUT SHOULD HAVE… PART 2
(Or, in this case, two years ago).

DEALING WITH AN UNSAFE LEFT Issue #1
dealingwithanunsafeleft (at) gmail.com
http://dealingwithunsafeleft.tumblr.com
I got my copy at Sticky for around $3 back in 2012/2013

A compilation zine of various correspondence and articles about issues in the leftist political scene in Australia but specifically dealing with criticism of the movement within Melbourne’s Socialist Alternative organisation.

Excuses, Excuses: SO! I never ended up reviewing this zine because it was so politically dense and so charged and…overwhelming. It went into the “too hard” basket. But while still in January of 2016 where the first month to the new year is always a ‘trial month’ and the new year doesn’t REALLY start until February, it’s time to give this zine the attention it deserves from the bottom of the zine box.

Background: The zine is specifically dealing with current events in Melbourne of 2012, or at least the events are the catalyst for the zine, so to make sense of the zine you do need to appreciate the context. In this year,  a breakfast radio producer at the ABC (Australia Broadcasting Commission) went missing and was discovered (a week later) to have been raped and murdered.

Her disappearance and the fast evolving news story gained huge media attention and inspired much dialogue in Melbourne at the time on rape culture, women’s safety and freedom of movement at night, why the media hype over Jill Meagher and not other victims of crime from the lower rungs of society; violence against women and even the justice system itself as it was revealed her attacker was out on bail at the time for similar rape convinctions.

The zine begins with an open letter to the Socialist Alternative for an article it published entitled ‘Jill Meagher, Reclaim the Night and the Political Right’ which used to be on the website – but I couldn’t manage to locate it online, it’s quite possible it’s been quietly removed from the site where it was once a working link. I guess you can figure out how it was offensive by reading the open letter response as a stand alone article.

The zine describes itself as: A direct response to ‘hard line rape apologism’ in the lead up to Reclaim the Night, featuring multiple points of view including those from organisers and women who have experienced rape and violence, but it does include a random article on how a coal seam gas protest campaign could be interpreted as colonialist and blah blah. There’s also the token poem and some filler graphics towards the end.

In one sense the zine is kind of like a left wing student newspaper; It’s full of terminology like wom*m and rape apologism (a term I hadn’t come across before) and absolutely assumes you share the same rage and passion. It’s Interesting to read internal divisions and candid criticism from within any political activist scene,  but at the same time it’s obviously of limited interest to those outside these circles and in that sense is very much  niche reading. (So basically perfect zine material).

Forget all that, THIS was fascinating: What really made this zine something exceptional was two of the articles towards the end which were both written by former Socialist Alternative members. They both describe experiences of manipulation, peer pressure, and an environment full of doctrine and a kind of sinister, superficial unity. One woman writes about how her recruitment to the organisation was like being ‘groomed’.  She’s an indigenous woman and over time figures out that she’s receiving special treatment (including mentoring) because obviously Aboriginal involvement within Socialist Alternative gives the organisation a credibility – an authenticity. At the same time however her experiences, and those shared by another former member in a separate article, both experience harsh judgement from some quarters of the political scene for not being political enough, dedicated enough, or not having the correct political stance.

Parallels are made to that of some kind of evangelic religion, even of a cult, and I found this super fascinating since Socialist Alternative are prominent at public rallies, will sometimes have a table and try and sell you a dodgy looking newspaper,  and you will ALWAYS pass a poster advertising an introduction to Marxism lecture to be held at the Trades Hall taped up to a pole somewhere in the city.  They do have some kind of marginal social presence, and this was the first time I’d ever read about what it was like to have been involved and to have become disillusioned. Both women’s articles express how each individual is ultimately betrayed on both ideological as well as personal fronts; how the organisation creates a culture “in which raising differences inside the organisation is not the norm, and, importantly, where doing and saying things you don’t agree with is normal” – not to mention how disagreements are managed with political rhetoric and accusations of anti-Marxism. I found this absolutely fascinating reading of one of Melbourne’s subcultures that you just would not read about anywhere else. These two particular articles were totally accessible to read and very much personal accounts which I guess really drew me in and stayed with me long after reading about coal seam gas protest slogans and borderline rantish discussions over rape apologism.

Unfortunate: Watch out for a very 90s font at the start that gave me flashbacks to street magazine headlines on techno releases. That’s a little aesthetic spray,  if you didn’t pick it. It’s not the most super attractive zine and there are some slightly distracting background graphics against the text. I’m guessing the cupcake images were a feminist statement.

Trigger Warning: As indicated in the opening pages, the zine comes with a trigger warning for the first article which is an open letter addressed to the Socialist Alternative. Basically jt discusses violence against women, queers and racial groups as well as some content on police.

What happened to this zine: Not sure if further issues eventuated but happily it has an active facebook presence and tumblr too.

It’s still kicking: ‘There have been three more issues thus far (these ones aren’t quite as busy as the first issue though the cover page is pretty much the same with just the images changing). While there is still a Melbourne left feel to the zine – it has covered other stuff including around rape in the British SWP; the left’s rape apologism around Julian Assange, and Germaine Greer’s transmisogyny. Our second issue consisted exclusively of articles by sex worker activists about their experiences in working in left and feminist spaces.’

-E.P.

 

 

 

 

 

ZINES I NEVER GOT AROUND TO…

ZINES I NEVER GOT AROUND TO REVIEWING LAST YEAR… BUT SHOULD HAVE… YET DID NOT

I got my copies of all of the below from Sticky in Melbourne. The deeper into the box I go the older the zines.

THE ADVENTURES OF THE SHEBBAB & The Haunted Percolator Issue 1

theshabbab.bandcamp.com
@vitobitmyfinger

Totally cute: Little pocket comic zine that opens up into band poster art, WIN.

Self explanatory title: the coffee percolator contains a ghost when cleaned.

Spoiler alert: Josef Mengele

Best: Any comic that finishes with “You should have been there” to save on drawing space

Finally: a zine that contains the word WALLA. Multiple times.

AWKWARD HANDICK: A Prequel-Mengo Lee Boredom Was Killing Me Just Like An Orgasm

Mengo Lee
toolazytopee.tumblr.com
mentsugo(at)gmail.com

I got this because: It’s full of mental drawings. And the colour cover is very very bright. You can see all the directions of the texta marks where it’s been hand coloured in. I like that.

Outlay: This was more like buying an art book, with lots of cool and weird looking pen illustrations, and many drawings of dicks. Some pages are spaced, some are overflowing. The drawings and mark-makings and asian characters  all vibrate with a frenetic energy.

I liked it more when: The urban myth as relayed to me was that the zinemaker did not want to waste an entire year of his life in military conscription, so he decided to make this zine during his compulsory service in Taiwan.  [This is also alluded to inside the first page].

SUBURBOPHOBIA ISSUE #12

chrish(at)stokeferry.com
suburbophobia.tumblr.com
etsy.com/shop/suburbophobia

Kuedos: This is a long running comic and by comic I mean really bad drawings of figures that is TOTALLY ENDEARING. It’s beautiful and nieve and just lots of bad one liner kind of skits on paper. The longest story in this issue is about a trip to Canberra split into four sections across two pages. Most of the panels are kind of one-liners.

Humour: Honestly it’s lame. It’s lame but…you gotta smile. Like money saving tips gleamed from share house living – ‘get your furniture off the street’. And a cute drawing of a stinky couch. You cannot but love. It has little stink lines coming from it.

What hooked me: The fact that the back cover advertises the forthcoming comic, “Father Yod and the Source Family: Guru, Cult Leader, Psych Musician, Killer: A comic based on a true story.” Amazing. I feel like I’m holding it in my hands already.

VALENTINE’S DAY

Tim
Sydney Exploratory Society
PO Box 4 Enmore NSW 2042
sydneyexploratorysociety (at) gmail.com

Morose: This is a dark personal zine about the zinemaker and how he came to learn of his mother’s death February 14 1999. It’s very concise writing – just a few sentences or so a page – in one sense it kind of made the zine seem overly dramatic and it ends up being heaps of pages as a result of this decision, but you do get a sense that there’s pause and hesitation and self doubt within all the empty space on each page. This kind of paired down writing is really full of impact, if anything it could have been paired down even more in some parts. It’s like someone is sitting you down and telling you something very, very important and private and you have to listen and not interrupt and just let the person chose their words carefully and do it in their own time.

Tragic: I really felt incredibly upset reading that the short note that was found on the zinemaker’s mother meant that he and his brother were unable to keep it. Due to police protocol. A detail like that is a hurtful shock. I didn’t realise something so intimate, so intensely personal, as a final note…can end up as tagged evidence somewhere and not be returned to family members. It’s heartbreaking. I just never knew.

Guilt: There is so much guilt in this zine. It’s so sad. You get an insight into the family situation and all you can think is how none of this could possibly be a reflection on the zinemaker or is their fault but at the same time you can see how someone is always going to feel like that, when the person is your parent, when it’s an enmeshed relationship. Even when the parent is broken, when they should be parenting you…there’s loyalty, there’s unapologetic love. The dysfunction is laid bare in this zine in simple words and you immediately get the sense of just how dark and complicated dysfunctional relationships can be. How they can be wrong, and hurtful, and irresponsible, and fucked up and aggressive, and remorseful and faithful and forgiving and everything else.

Multiple Loss: The story doesn’t end there. It continues to follow the zinemaker’s life and how he rebuilt his world. And how it came falling in anyway. The saddest thing to me is the social isolation that comes from growing up in exceptional circumstances and trying to integrate into the mainstream when you have so much different stuff going on inside you. Reading this zine made me want to hug the zinemaker so bad and make everything different. It’s very hard not to be affected by reading this. I wanted to review this zine, but it was too overwhelming to grasp. But I’m glad I’ve written about it now.

BIZARRISM No.14

Chris Mikul
PO Box K546, Haymarket NSW 1240
Cathob (at) zip.com.au

Return to Glory: Bizarrism is a cherished and longstanding Australian zine title amongst a wide global community of aficionados and only gets released once every two years. 2016 fell into a Bizarrism release year, and I was really excited to get my copy and see that the zinemaker has returned to the old skool production values of plain black and white photocopying on crappy tinted paper. This year was pale blue. I love this so much more than when Bizarrism flirted with glossy colour covers.

Daggy: Bizarrism is very much from the discipline of self publishing which crosses over into all things zine. It’s basically a desktop magazine containing articles about weird shit from around the world and different eras…whatever takes the zinemaker’s fancy I guess that ends up getting researched and written up. Chris Mikul is also a published author, but fuck that, he makes zines like the common man. I love that one stuff up meant additional text had to be stapled in on the relevant page. Keeping it real.

Amazing: I always learn cool shit from reading Bizarrism and for me the real highlight of this issue was being introduced to the world of Mingering Mike, a dude who created his own fictional cardboard records, (ACTUAL CUT OUT CARDBOARD RECORDS…Think about that for a second) complete with lovingly created cover art, and extending to acapella home soul recordings. His back catalogue lives on at the Smithsonian. God the Smithsonian is cool. You’ve got to check it out, or was I the last one to get onto this. http://www.mingeringmike.com

Darius Howard’s WATCH ODYSSEUS FUCK SHIT UP  #1

No name, no contact details.

Nice: Another little pocket comic, made by someone with consumate drawing skills as far as drawing men, horses and one eyed giants go. Seriously, there are serious skills here.
Confession: I never got around to reading it, the stapling makes the margins hard to access, and it looks like some narration about nanotechnology and gore and bisexual scum and greek mythology. Awesome.

Furthermore: I can see the pages contain double sided stuff but it’s been folded in such a way that you have to remove the staples to get to the secret stuff underneath (unless it’s just recycling older failed photocopies). I can’t be arsed undoing the staples so a) I’m not worthy and b) I’ll never know.

CHIPS A tale of Lust

Ham
undergroundanimation.com

A hit with the kids: Okay, so this zine actually came out in 2014 but really I’m going to say it became a cult classic across 2014/2015 as at least one new title appeared in the franchise. It’s basically a crudely drawn comic zine of a seagull which is kind of a hybrid gull with a man’s body and makes chip eaters take it up the arse. It’s so insane and so Out There, people went crazy for it and it made me begrudgingly smile despite myself. I think it shall remain timeless.

High Art: It’s done on a riso for all the riso fans.

LUMPEN 12

Pat Grant
God, this comic is actually from 2013.

Excuses: This is another comic – I never really have the confidence to write about comics, because I can never describe the drawing styles or the layour or aesthetic because I just have no freaking knowledge about the great comic tradition, or enough of the local scene.

Beautiful: This comic artist is a master. All the comics produced are beautifully produced for starters, this one with a lovely brown paper cover and brown and pink riso printed cover art. The comic, all in brown and orange,  is a story from the artist’s personal life, (a father and son relationship) and it is just told just really…simply and with heart… and you find yourself immersed in this comic world of capital lettering and childlike, cartoonish graphics kind of reminiscent of Ginger Meggs (see, I don’t know how to reference the style). PLUS the actual story is emotional and tore my heart out.

Meh: the ending? It felt contrived, like there had to be some meaningful closure. Sometimes a story doesn’t HAVE to have a neat ending. I don’t know. It didn’t feel that clever but it felt like it wanted to be.

Production values: Riso is a hard medium to work with as far as printing goes, the pigment lodges itself on your skin and riso inks don’t always apply smoothly. My copy of the comic was almost rough in the way the ink clings to the page – it’s as if the paper was too porous for the riso, or maybe the ink cartridges were low – but I still love it somehow, it’s kind of grainy and rough like an old newspaper comic and the zine carries the look since the images are heavy set and thick lined and deliberately pixilated (which loans itself perfectly to stencil technology), so you can afford the texture of uneven printing without losing detail. You know you’re holding something precious and special – this goes for pretty much anything this artist puts his hands to.

Other zines from 2014

ANAlog: Dispatches on d.i.y anorexia and recovery issue 2

Ponyboy Violet
PO Box 553 Northhampton MA 01061
ponyboyviolet(at) gmail.com

Freak out: this zine super freaked me out. I had no idea how to tackle it as far as whipping up a review. The zinemaker has anorexia and does the most insane thing which is to move to a third world country. The whole endeavour is almost a self-inflicted political punishment. It was definitely an experience approached in revolutionary terms. It’s kind of an act of madness, so crazy it’s almost genius; at the same time I cannot imagine any self respecting medical professional recommending this…but the zinemaker did this, fully immersed themselves in the experience and DOES recommend it.

The jist: It’s a really well written (agonising-to-read) zine all about teaching English in a former fishing village to ethnic minority Mon people in Myanmar. There’s lots of cultural gulfs to overcome, the first being the political dilemma: is even teaching English enforcing colonial traditions or helping to create resistance (itself a fascinating topic). Nevermind the obvious cultural clash: where the zinemaker is in close quarter communal living, people are free with exposing their naked bodies, and students especially prepare food for you as the ultimate act of caring. Everything, every action, every turn of event is a trigger for disordered eating, and everything is an ironic twist of fate, like travelling there on ANA which is the nickname for anorexia where even the packaging of snacks have ANA in massive lettering. I loved the zinemaker’s humour throughout the zine, the most minor observations that for someone with anorexia is absolutely defining. You realise how much you take for granted, how UNCOMPLICATED life is, without this physical and psychological condition tormenting your entire ‘being’. It’s a powerful insight into the condition and the mental processes that try to control you.

Intense: So, naturally everything about this zine is intense. And the zinemaker – once they have created this situation, they can’t escape from it either. It’s a deep political journey, it’s a huge personal commitment to every individual student they teach, it’s an emotional commitment to the entire culture. You don’t run from this. At least, the zinemaker wants to, and writes of this in the most incredible honesty, and yet they do not.

Unknown: The thing with a condition like anorexia is that there is no simple one stop cure. I am personally convinced it’s a disorder that survivors have to fight most days of their life, on some conscious level, to not go regress and return to disordered patterns the brain is so hardwired to want to return to. I have no idea if this zinemaker lived happily ever after or not. And it’s not the kind of zine I would throw in the face of someone with an eating disorder, either. But fuck me, it’s a fascinating read.

You should also check out: Kenneth, a zine also about recovering from anorexia albeit in a conventional treatment setting. Just as engaging and compelling. No longer in print but available as a reissue here.

TINY FRIENDS

Ashley Ronning
www.ashleyronning.com

More cuteness: Another little pocket zine, this one is really sweet, printed on a riso in pink ink on a lighter pink tinted paper. (a little too sweet maybe…the pink on pink is a bit hard on the eyes). It’s an illustrated mini zine all about cool facts on little bugs. When you fold the zine out, you get thousands of little ants everywhere (in pink). The carefully documented wonderment for nature makes you like bugs (or reminds you how much you do already).

Riso Fail: The only annoying aspect to this zine is: that the quality of riso printing has lost all the delicate details that I presume exist in the original illustrations, and because there’s no use of thick lines or contrasting lights and darks, the subtle marks are lost in the riso process.

– E.P.

Curse Journal

Curse Journal

Dave
PO Box 221041 Chicago IL 60622
poodrow (at) hotmail.com
I picked my copy up at Sticky late 2015 for $1

An ill-stapled narrow typed log book of swearing, recorded by date, time and incident in an effort for the zinemaker to induce shame and curb his swearing habit. The second half of the zine is an academic summary of why we swear. ‘Something for everyone’. This zine has been around for a while but must still go into occasional print runs.

First thought: That’s only the best idea for a zine, EVER.

Amazing: The third entry for January 1st is the best backstory for why the zinemaker said the word ASS ever. It comes with an engrossing character study of the zinemaker’s math and computer teacher in high school. So much greatness right there second page in.

Surprising: This zinemaker is one of those people who speaks out loud to himself. I think this was surprising to the zinemaker as well. Sometimes the first word he’ll say for the day has no audience. Thanks to this diary exercise, now such utterances have a readership.

Less Surprising: Playing Nintendo, and hanging out with his brother, prompts a lot of profanity. So does playing Nintendo WHILST hanging out with his brother.

What swearing reveals: See, this is the genius of the zine, because these little incidents of cussing are peepholes into someone else’s life at their most vulnerable moments. They cover the full spectrum of comic (dropping food, cooking mishaps, slapstick involving small time injuries, playing Boggle);
tragic (sad things that happen, things you wish didn’t happen but they did)
comic-but-could-be-tragic; (cycling in traffic) and social interactions where swear words serve as almost a social crutch or method of integration.

Fucking A: The writing is just gold. I loved reading this zine so much, it’s condensed and punchy, sincere and playful. And it also had a poignancy I wasn’t expecting: some of the times the zinemaker swears are quite touching and greater reflections on America’s education system and economic downturn. There are other stories where swearing punctuates amazement and wonder. I felt so connected to this zinemaker on so many levels everytime he recorded his inappropriate language. Hearing someone swear can be a thing of intimacy and beauty.

Great: The zinemaker includes a ‘near miss’ as an entry (getting bitten by a domestic animal).

Don’t Give Up: Quitting swearing was this zinemaker’s new years resolution, and I was dismayed when I came to the last entry and realised six months into it that the project had been abandoned. The zine kind of abruptly stops and then there’s a separate part looking at the science of swearing, and how it can be both good and bad for one’s brain and the greater diversity of linguistics. This is an OK read but I’ll be honest, I wanted more swear stories.

Meh: The second part has a lot of chunky quotes from academic papers/ research and it does read like a mini essay or a personalised wikipedia entry. (But great little opening quotes for each section). It’s interesting enough with some nice pop culture references but I was still experiencing withdrawl from the first half of the zine.

Production values: Woeful. When you make a zine, it’s perfectly POSSIBLE to take a bunch of single cut pages and just staple them down the sides sans margin, but usually when this is done it’s because someone has fucked up somewhere along the way. What happens when you just staple a bunch of pages down the side? The pages don’t bend back on themselves properly. Disaster. Worse still my copy has pages starting to fall out from the staple and all the pages are cut at slightly different lengths and it is killing me. I don’t know whether this gets filed under ‘endearing punk’ or ‘should know better’

Further reading: There’s a bibliography at the back if you want to read more into pain tolerance, linguistics, and the evolution of the human brain

Missed opportunity:
A glossary of swears in alphabetical order. Also, the zine contains no infographics, which would have been great. I would love to see the most used swear word in order of frequency in some kind of pie chart…or some kind of graph showing categorised contexts. There’s just so many statistical possibilities here too. Who cares, this is one of my all time favourite zines, shitty stapling and all.

-E.P.

Some additional notes from the zinemaker follow:

So let me explain some a couple parts of it. I was in between sessions at grad school when I wrote it and kind of stuck in an academic writing mode. That’s why the second half is like that. I was still in a “do the research, cite your sources” mode. I mean, it was intentional and I think it’s kind of funny, but looking back I can see it was clearly a product of my grade school mindset.

Second, yeah, the copying and stapling is garbage. The first batch I made I took care to make sure things lined up perfectly and got stapled correctly. It was a huge pain. By the third batch I really regretted making it that unusual size and started my slow descent into not giving a shit about how they looked. If I make another batch I think I’ll reformat it to it’s easier to put together.

Last, I really appreciate the compliments. It got reviewed in another zine and the reviewer didn’t like it, which is fine, but he accused me of making fun of my high school teacher for being gay. It really bummed me out because I thought I made it clear I made fun of him because he was a creep who liked his teenage students. Also he had a funny last name. No one else had read it like that and it definitely got into the hands of people who would have called me out. I still got worried that it inadvertently came across as homophobic so I stopped selling/giving it to people. I’m relieved that you got what I meant about him.  And just a quick note, I’m now a teacher with a funny last name so Karma has been getting me on that.

My life as a Guinea Pig

My life as a Guinea Pig

I got my copy at Sticky for $2
somewhatobzine [@] gmail.com

A little zine about taking part in a PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) study

She got paid for science: Here’s a zine where the zinemaker actually participates in a scientific study for a bit of cash and to increase our knowledge of the human body. Have you ever heard the horror stories of people going on those weird medical trials? Neither have I! (Those survivors have been relocated to unknown bunkers of government facilities). This zine is the story of a medical test survivor. Except the tests are kind of banal.

Sign me up: The zinemaker has PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) which made her a successfully qualifying candidate. She never quite knows what the tests are trialling, or whether she’s in the placebo group (she has her theories). PCOS is super common, a kind of collection of abnormalities associated with menstruation and hormone production that does not necessarily include massive pain and suffering. Plus let me add this, this zinemaker is fortunate, her periods are regular, so she doesn’t need to ‘manage’ her PCOS. (The Pill is pretty much the only solution FYI).

Freak of nature: And here we have it. PCOS is an interesting syndrome for a woman to have because it can include the ultimate physical threat to western femininity: that is, hairiness*. Most dramatically, facial hair. This alone is enough to prompt the question ‘what is normal’ as far as gender identity but is amplified when the zinemaker has scientists ask her to access body hair according to a chart; “then later when I take off my clothes I can tell the researcher is checking to see whether I’ve been honest…”

The zinemaker is pretty ambivalent about her condition, and has a healthy appreciation of her body, including all its stretch-marks (also measured and recorded). She writes about perceptions of femininity and conventional beauty norms and speaks of the politics of the body…all relayed in a clear and informative manner. You do find yourself pondering what is normal, what IS healthy.

Look Away: The funniest part of this zine is the cool little drawings scattered throughout, illustrating some of the more unusual moments of being…a science experiment. And the anecdotes are impressive. For instance, storing urine for a 24 hour passage of time in a sharehouse. Or having a blood pressure monitor on in the library which periodically beeps with visible tubing. Perfectly described. And I am seriously loving the collage use of the guinea pig photo.

Was it Worth It: Anything that ends up as a zine or a hilarious story to tell can hardly have been a complete waste of your time, but when I read at the end what the financial renumeration was…I was like…’woah, seriously?’. It’s not a lucrative side project. There’s more altruism than dollars going on here.

The real nightmare story in the zine: There is an account of experiences with a naturopath the zinemaker describes, referred to her by a FRIEND. Oh my God. Bad, bad bad.

What’s Wrong With You: I love that the zinemaker is cool with her body. We all fall somewhere within a broader spectrum of ‘human body’ and it’s OK. Maybe your ovary is growing extra follicles and maybe it’s not. And that ladybeards are cool too.

You also need to read: An incredibly powerful zine, Ladybeard, also by an Australian PCOS zinemaker. It’s no longer in print but you can get a reissue of the original zine here.

*(For the record, other PCOS symptoms can involve complications with conceiving, period weirdness, gained weight and a tendency to type 2 diabetes).

-E.P.

Fifty Eight Thirteen

Fifty eight thirteen
Jo No Mercy
jo-no-mercy.tumblr.com
I got my copy for $1 at sticky

Personal writing covering observations and heavy emotional shit

Fragmented: This is one of those kind of zines that begin abruptly and finish in the same sort of manner: you’re dropped in the middle on a seemingly random entry point, swim with the currents, learn about this person, and get washed up on the final page from the zinemaker’s thoughts. Like being allowed into someone’s life for a limited amount of time before your paths no longer cross. It’s a pensive writing style, written from a bit of distance but still arresting and intense.

Aesthetic: That rough and ready cut and paste effort with a mix of patterns and image snippers roughly scissored down, the computer text with the occasional pen correction.

Strong: There are powerful scenes in here. Sadness. Glimpses of sobriety in between the distorted sense of reality of an addict, and glimpses of why the run from reality as well. The zine looks for meaning where there may just be none…being ‘together’ when you need to be falling apart. Being ‘proper’ in the face of rot and decay and disorder. It’s a powerful little unassuming read.

Sketchy Friends

Sketchy Friends
Neil Sanders
www.neilsanders.com.au
I got my copy at Sticky for $5

A full colour (and fully colourful) fold out pocket-zine of smiley monster creatures with loopy arms and legs with excellent production values.

Schmick: This is a bright little number with a perfectly manufactured dusk jacket. You know when something’s been cut and folded by precision instruments? (chills). This has been printed by the ‘Melbourne Polytechnic Printroom’. I thought this might be a hipster name for a new artist studio, but in fact it’s more likely to be a tafe (=college) printing service. LOL.

No space wasted: I love it when zinemakers consider the format as much as the content. I love how you can totally unfold this booklet, and there’s another whole zine on the reverse. Awesome and clever and has that lovely secretive factor like you’re the only reader in the world who is in on the trick. (Even tho there’s instructions).

But what does it all mean: No narrative, this is all illustrated mutant creatures just doing their thing with weird eyes and funny teeth. Everything is in bright colours with pantomime shadows against swirly backgrounds – kind of has that psychedelic feel. Half of these critters would totally sell as designer felt toys at indie craft fairs. In that sense this zine is a total zeitgeist publication: there’s lots of stuff like this out there, for better and worse, and this is a nice example of the fashion in illustration. I don’t think that’s a ‘radical’ observation to make. It’s not necessarily a criticism either.

Also: Great title.

Living Without Money: How and Why

Living Without Money: How and Why
Andy Paine
andy.paine77 (at) gmail. com
andypaine.wordpress.com
I got my copy at sticky for $1

A guide and rationale to living as disengtangled from capitalism as possible, being free and not needing to earn or spend money for materials and resources.

Living without Money: That’s impossible, right? (picks up zine from shelf). Is this going to be a Marxist Leninist tract about the evils of capitalism? Is it going to include tips about forraging dandelions for food? Or is it going to be a how-to-scam-shit-without-paying-for-stuff-ever-again (aka Abbie Hoffman) kinda zine?

That was unexpected: The zine begins quoting the bible. I kind of like the fact that the zinemaker must realise this is a highly unfashionable thing to do on page one and just ploughs on.

Luke 12: You know the part where Jesus talks about the ravens not needing to be clothed or fed, and how the wild flowers don’t labour or spin. (I do, I listened in school assembly). This is the starting point of this zine

It’s a basic message; material shit is ultimately ephemeral in the bigger picture of nature (and God’s kingdom). Yes, worrying about things beyond our control can be redundant. But. I think it does pay to worry about your life, what you will eat, about your body, and what you will wear. I do set my heart on what I will eat and drink and I’m not about to surrender my possessions anytime soon. Jesus’ argument, of course, was that the Kingdom of God would provide.

Can I just state the obvious here for a second. And I know I’m not supposed to, but… Wildflowers don’t have to spin or labour because they are fucking PLANTS. They are busting their guts photosynthesising and attracting pollinators. Ravens – (or birds as a rule, depending on which bible interpretation you’re going with)- don’t sow or reap but would probably be open to it if they could appreciate the long term benefits, could build a grain store and could operate miniature agricultural equipment with their beaks.

And let’s not forget God’s world of nature can be brutally opportunistic, territorial, and predatory. But, I digress.

Essentially this zine’s argument is that you can live off the waste of contemporary western society, cop the occasional fine it may attract, pool resources, chip in where you can, and your mates will provide the rest: “This zine for instance was made entirely on a friend’s computer” types the zinemaker. *I don’t doubt it*.

It’s Complicated: That’s the relationship between this zinemaker and commerce. He hasn’t managed to completely live without currency himself, but encourages everyone to seek out alternatives as much as possible. He’s less into bartering than sharing your resources and utilising neglected resources. (Unless it comes to squatting when he discusses getting your own locks and claiming ownership). And then, reading this zine, you just get lines like the following,  “…sometimes strangers will even give you money without you having to do anything” Wait, what about the enslavement stuff?

Aesthetic: The zine is boring but legible, the usual desktop publishing trade-off. Everything has clear headings in times new roman bold, and the only images are insert photos, kind of like the zinemaker posing in action shots like it’s a lifestyle catalogue. Most of the pics are dark and blurry, …so maybe not so much like a lifestyle catalogue. There is a collage reproduced in here, but a mysterious one that has been clearly lifted from an Australian squatting zine from the 1980s. I can tell this because it includes the use of a two dollar note in the graphics. The two dollar note was phased out of circulation in 1988. But hey, I guess the ‘housing for all’ message is timeless.

Sell it to me: If you’re going to try and promote a radical lifestyle choice, you’ve really got to make it sound great. Exciting. Sexy. Risky, perhaps but ‘worth-every-second’ kind of thrilling. This is the zine’s greatest flaw. The ultimate miscalculation is to try to make out that living on the fringes of society is something everyone can do in their daily lives and that it’s no biggie.

Seriously? This lifestyle is exclusively for people who are young, physically strong and healthy, and not vulnerable: This is a lifestyle for risk takers with few possessions and needs or health complications who don’t care for long term planning.

The following quotes don’t quite cut it as conversion arguments:

On busking: “It gives other people a chance to be generous”

On dumpster diving: “I have been living almost entirely off dumpstered foods for nearly five years now and have never once got food poisoning…”

On plate scraping: “People will stare when you do this, it’s a good exercise in discovering how self concious we all are”

On sleeping rough: “Other than two months living at Occupy Brisbane…I don’t really recommend it”

On hitch-hiking: “I think it’s safer than many people assume.”

On walking: “It’s a bit slower” (I added this last line more for laughs if anything).

Amazing facts: You know when you’re reading a pamphlet about something and they include some amazing fact like how it would take 630 Olympic swimming pools to fill the Melbourne Cricket Ground, to illustrate their point? Something visual to make you go “woah” and gain a new appreciation of…how big the MCG is. Well there’s only one factoid in the zine, and we’ll never know who crunched the numbers on the global textile industry, (read: the zinemaker) but for what it’s worth, enjoy:
“If the whole world stopped making clothes tomorrow, we would still have enough clothes on the planet to last all 7 billion of us at least a decade, probably much longer.”
Probably Much Longer. Bless. No statistic exists, but goddamnit, take a stab to illustrate your point. (Just for future reference, here’s some fascinating and  legit research on the problem of excess manufacturing of clothing where the supply outstrips the demand).

Ideology vs Consistency:
There’s lots of ideas flying around in the zine – christian ones, environmental ones, anti-capitalism ones, but all are undermined in their own way. Ultimately I don’t really see how this zinemaker’s lifestyle relates to Jesus’ teaching; he claims one of the advantages to busking is that on Fri or Sat night, people’s generoisty is often “chemically enhanced”. There’s something a little too cynical about this throwaway comment of profiteering from drunk people that doesn’t seem to fit with Christian principles OR seem to demonstrate freedom of the ‘power dynamics of wealth’.

The other kink that struck me in the zine was how the zinemaker made sense of land ownership and private property. He despises theft but endorses occupation. It’s also the first time in the zine that personal safety is advocated over sharing a space you actively occupy (ethical dilemma?), and tips on ‘claiming ownership’ are provided, which is an interesting deviation from the strong emphasis of the need for universal sharing. Albeit, even with squatting and changing the locks, “It’s best not to get attached”.

I like the fact this zine exists because: Even though I find a lot of it objectionable and nieve, it does invite you to think about your relationship to money, your dependence on an income stream, where you fit on the socio-economic scale, if you could take on these suggestions in your life and how necessary it is to buy a new t-shirt. It makes you think about what freedoms you have and do not have in your own life, your own relationship to authority, and also? the dangers inherent in quoting from the bible.

The smartest line in this zine: “Real freedom comes from us working out for ourselves the best way to live”.

 

How To Be A Cop

How To Be A Cop:
A comprehensive beginner’s guide to the world of police and law enforcement

D.C. Sam Bears
Sgt. Nicholas Burns
Officer Raul Coppe

I got my copy at an undisclosed location in Brunswick Street, Melbourne for $7 “guess who don’t sue”
You can get your copy from: realcoppoliceman69 at gmail dot com

Hilarious: This zine is just great old skool ‘fucking-shit-up’ funny. It’s exactly the kind of zine you’d want to see on the shelves of Polyester and all other “good book stores” lying next to those High Times magazines that review bongs. Hah. It’s put out by the Department of Youth, Culture and Problems. I LOVE THAT. The zine is not worth $7 but I will pay it just for that little Australian cultural appropriation of the coat of arms.

Contents: Rookie spelling mistakes. Clip art doughnuts and guns. Batons as dildo jokes. Satirical, misogynist, racist advice on how to use your unlimited powers of brute force. (hashtag political commentary).

How funny is it? The kind of funny when you’re delirious at 3am in the morning. That is to say, it’s not particularly original or clever. But seeing all the jokes make it to print and superimposed on to official logos kind of makes it A grade comedy. The recommended further reading includes Batman, Batman and Robin, Kill All Perps, A Study in Law and Justice, Domestic Violence and the Joys of Laughter, Police Boy, Police Boy II: Revenge of Police Boy etc. You gotta laugh. It has some kind of absurdist streak going on.

But is there a Hitler reference? Glad you asked. Yes, yes there is. “A day in the life of officer Barry Hitler”. He runs over disabled children and eats cheeseburgers and gets a handjob from his partner, Junior Officer Henry Goebbels. Story to be continued in the next issue.

Wizardry: What I think amuses me the most about this zine is the use of images to accompany the text. Like, there are a lot of reproductions of people from some kind of costume catalogue dressed up as police, including children, perfect, but what makes it kind of absurd and takes it to a whole new level is that in some of these pictures there’s a kid in a wizard costume from within the same photoshoot who has been left in the collage. Including, in another collage, a man dressed as a wizard with a white beard. And the glossary of cop terms includes ‘cop hat’ with a wizard hat depicted. There’s some weird magic subliminal shit going on. Including a Harry Potter reference.

Fuck the police: Actually, personally, I don’t subscribe to this sentiment. I have only ever had good experiences with police – I count myself fortunate. I do believe police corruption exists etc and that powers get abused, because humans, and because journalism, but I don’t scream at police officers in protests. I laugh at Chief Wiggum on The Simpsons and have NWA on my ipod but I am a law abiding citizen (essentially) and live in a nice happy bubble of my own white, privileged mainstream mediocrity. I read about things like this and am vaguely concerned from afar but obviously I don’t experience the police like other people from different demographics walking the same streets as me or living in remote Australia. And my educated guess is that this zine is the kind of humour you can afford when you are privileged. Hashtag irony.

Is this part of something bigger? I don’t mean socially I mean print wise. In small print the zine says fwyc #8. I really want to know this acronym as well. (Fund what you can? Fort Walton Yacht Club?) Is this issue 8? What have I been missing?

-E.P

Herding Cats/Dirty Kitsch

Herding Cats/Dirty Kitsch

Lego
I got my copy from the wonderful nature of belated postal zine swaps.
You can write to PO Box 123 Newtown NSW 2042 Australia

A motley assortment of queer raver memories: Share houses in Sydney. Nailing astroturf down hallways because you can. Dragging giant foam turds on to the steps of the church. Anarchy. Glitter. Living on the fringes. Questioning life choices. No regrets. Sharing advice on how to handle pepper spray. Being under surveillance. Dancing in Berlin.

Fave bit: So the zinemaker is setting up an abandoned warehouse for a party and he’s digging around on ‘decoration duty’: “At the back was a giant cylinder shape over a meter wide and about 1.6 metre tall. I thought it was an old hot water heater. I poked it with my finger absently, distracted by a cardboard box of xmas tree baubles…the cyclinder was soft to the touch. I’d found the biggest roll of bubble wrap I’d ever seen…” Seriously is that not the best singular sentence you could ever hope for from a zine: “I’d found the biggest roll of bubble wrap I’d ever seen”. (And you get the impression this guy has seen a lot of industrial bubblewrap in his time).  Gold. Lego is a good writer, I was kind of sad there wasn’t more of his writing in here.

Crazy: Lego talks about how a massive piece of foam made its way back into his ownership, having been transformed/sculpted into a giant turd in the meantime (long story). Anyway he puts it to good use and transports it to the church steps to farewell (then) Archbishop (now Cardinal) George Pell. Cardinal Pell is in Rome these days but this was his last sermon in Sydney. His leadership as Melbourne and then Sydney Archibishop has been considered complicit in concealing sex crimes and protecting sexual offenders over TWENTY YEARS or so. He’s since appeared before the Royal Commission into Child Sexual Abuse – it’s second hearing– and. Yeah. Kind of makes the church look…indifferent? cold? corrupt?)

Anyway, our street hero is there protesting (because fuck silent Tuesday nights) and it’s Pell’s final Australian sermon. Scene set. It’s not much of a protest, just the enormous foam turd, a bit of media, folks standing around and a few elderly ladies (probably observers from the Royal Commission). A Parishoner scurries past them and there’s a brief exchange. The Parishner tells the ladies they should be ashamed of themselves and the zinemaker’s friend overhears them say “Well name one, name me one pedophile priest”. One of the ladies replies “I can’t, I signed a deed of agreement with the church over my claim for abuse”. Pow. One second you’re laughing about how the turd needed to be transported on a car rack and was bigger than a family-sized two-door fridge. Then the shock of an overheard conversation on the church steps. I was still thinking about this two second overheard exchange long after I put the zine down.

Aesthetic: I call this ‘bedroom punk’. It’s a graffitied/stencilled cover done on A4 computer desktop print outs that form the pages and have been stapled down the side. Its very old skool 90s zine format when everyone thought a zine had to be the same dimensions as a glossy newsagent magazine. Stapling A4 sheets is a crappy format for a zine, but there’s something nostalgic about it. Other friends of Lego have also contributed bits and pieces too which makes it a real shared year schoolbook kind of zine of sharehouses past.

Where it all began: I first discovered Lego through his very super great radical Coughing Up Legomen from the 90s.

Hilarious: I used to think Coughing Up Legomen was a reference to some kind of punk slang for phlegm. Nope, it’s a reference to capitalism and little plastic lego men. I still think ‘legomen’ is a little akin to ‘phlegm’ if you say it fast enough with the accent on the ‘men’.

-E.P

The Undead Weekly

the UNDEAD WEEKLY
Halloween issue 13

I got my copy from Sticky for $2
You can chase yours through animalbro.etsy.com

Not of this world: Well, actually, it is of this world. Someone has made a zippy spooky zine of pics and things from the internets of weird dead related shit and sold it ($). It’s a little pocket zine including freaky carved turnips, the predecessors of jack o lanterns, and how to make your own necropants. The instructions are pretty involved. And they involve stealing a coin from a poor widow.  To draw money into the scrotum.

Disappointing: As far as I can tell the zine doesn’t appear to come with a curse and when you unfold it there is no secret occult symbol or anything on the reverse side. I don’t understand people when they make zines using this format that leaves you an entire blank side that is never utilised. It’s not so much a waste thing as a lack of imagination thing.

More: There needs to be more. I feel like there is a lot more collage montage material where this zine came from. Awaiting further apparitions.

Also: Best editorial for any zine ever.

– E.P